It is a fairly regular occurrence these days - back pain in NBA players. A quick Google search reveals plenty of big names: Derrick Rose, Metta World Peace, Amar’e Stoudamire, Carmelo Anthony, Larry Johnson, Dirk Nowitzki, and Larry Bird. That was just pages 1 and 2 of the search. There have been plenty of careers that have ended abruptly due to back pain.

While we’re at it, let’s tally up the annual salaries of those individuals, or better yet, the salary-per-game. Multiply this by the number of games lost to injury. I hope your calculator can handle a lot of zeros.

The most recent addition to the Hall Of Pain is Dwight Howard of the Orlando Magic. He is out with “back spasms”. He has missed five of the last 7 games prior to Saturday, April 14th. That can’t be a good thing when your team is fighting for a playoff spot and playoffs begin April 28.

The NBA and its teams need a solution to the back pain epidemic. Allow me to introduce you to Mechanical Diagnosis And Therapy, or MDT.

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If you bring up the topic of government, or legislation, or Tea Party for that matter, I would bet you will have your fair share of debate and some “eye rolling” as well. Lo and behold, both the federal and state legislators are once again “hard at work” (and I use that term loosely) and before you can blink that rolling eye, there is already plenty of insanity with which to contend. Be it Washington or Austin, the fun just never stops.

When in doubt, always follow the money trail to find the Rhubarb. Trust me on this one. I am sure it will lead you to plenty of tasty treats over which legislators (and lobbyists) will wage battles that will, in the end, rarely accomplish much of anything for the benefit of their constituents. On the top of that list of battles these days is health care reform. Yes we can? No we can’t? Maybe we will? Do our legislators have any clue?

In this episode, let’s take a quick and annoying peek at what our reps are up to on the state and national levels. Between health care reform nationally and super-sized budget deficits in the state of Texas, we have plenty of hypocrisy to roll our eyes over.

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This news report just in from the world of sport: muscle imbalances - those crazy anomalies that plague athletes everywhere – have been caught defying homeostasis. Not only do they cause every sport injury known to man (or are believed to do so anyways), but they are now defying homeostasis. Homeostasis! Can you believe it? What makes this turn of events more troubling is that they are demanding greater pay for their treatment. Health care experts are reporting that this is sure to become a troubling development for lawmakers in an upcoming November election cycle.

A little satire goes a long way. But the real world isn’t far off this when you hear coaches and clinicians describe “muscle imbalances”. The term is a misnomer at best, and a blatant excuse for interminable treatment at worst.

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There is a new conspiracy brewing on the Forty Acres. Woodward and Bernstein may need to start doing some research on this one.

The University of Texas Longhorns have a new two-headed offensive coordinator – Major Applewhite and Bryan Harsin. Look closely at their promotional photos. You’d think they were one and the same at first glance. Applewhite is 32, Harsin is 34. Smoke and mirrors?

Conspiracy, I tell you. Opie-Gate has arrived in Austin. Let’s see if we ever see both of them in the same place at the same time.

The Longhorn Youth Movement also adds new defensive coordinator Manny Diaz, the “old man” of the group who is a whopping 36 years old.

The current evidence would indicate that this conspiracy does not involve bubble screens or zone reads. And it might actually involve a blitz or three. And it could actually prove to be a lot of … fun.

This is a movement I can support – and for a lot of reasons.

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