Rhubarb Report: Episode 39

It is as though a hush fell over the crowd. After a bazillion Republican presidential debates, countless nasty ads, and a race that looked more like Survivor than it did a presidential candidacy, there is now - silence. College basketball is over. More silence. College football is still a few months away. More silence.

But there always seems to be a way to find the irony – or humor – or both in tandem in our daily news. Truth is, without doubt, stranger than fiction. Just turn on your television and you will see what I mean. A click of the dial (hey, I am old school) will put you front and center with Dr. Oz, Jerry Springer, Oprah, Sports Center, FOX News, and the Real Housewives of Orange County. Wow. How times have changed. That’s a long way from the Little Rascals and the nightly news.

This episode of the Rhubarb Report brings sport to the forefront – or at least what we once considered sport.

1. In a fine example of what pro sport has turned into these days, we have Exhibit A: Metta World Peace. If you have been anywhere close to a television lately, you have probably viewed his beyond-flagrant foul of James Harden. I think we have seen legal cases in which less than that was considered assault with bodily harm, but I digress. I don’t care what the past few years have looked like for the player formerly known as Artest. He may have played the saint, but he obviously has anger management issues that remain unresolved.

With that said, a seven game suspension is insane. This is one example of a player that should be permanently removed from the league. If the New Orleans Saints have been called to the mat for bounties, then World Peace should be as well. World Peace? Now if that name isn’t an irony to end all ironies, I don’t know what is.

2. Newt is gone. Well, almost gone. It looks like Newt Gingrich is seeking greener pastures on which to seek his next million dollars. He will probably tell us that the Republican primaries got old, they were beneath him and his scholarly understanding of American history, or some other reason full of arrogance. Tune in someday soon for the continuing saga.

We’ve already watched Rick Santorum hit the road. Ron Paul is still on the road and, as the Beatles once said, still talking about a revolution. But is anyone listening? Romney has more policy flip flops than a beach babe. Oh, sorry, that would assume he has a policy.

So now we are left with the showdown: Romney vs Obama. It is now almost-officially game-on time.

3. Wayne Campbell may have yelled “game-on” when he was playing street hockey back in Canada (yes, in Canada, hoser). But these days, Canadian hockey teams are AWOL in the Stanley Cup finals. There were only two to start with, and then there were none. Imagine this – it is only the second round of the NHL playoffs, and not one Canadian team remains. It is a sad and sorry state of pro sports affairs when the Stanley Cup hasn’t crossed the northern border in 20 years.

At this rate, the Toronto Maple Leafs may actually, eventually, be the ones to bring it back to Canada – maybe in 2067, the 100th anniversary of their last Stanley Cup win.  

Photo credits: Wikipedia