Rhubarb Report 048

It never ceases to amaze me. I go away for a brief vacation, and what happens? All kinds of crazy stuff takes place the world over.

Who was I to think that anyone would listen to my requests? I thought I had made it perfectly clear to the powers-that-be that everything was supposed to remain calm until I returned to Austin. But, no, that was not the case.

It would be asking a lot for the world to ease up on it’s global rhubarb production. With that said, I bring you a plethora of fine rhubarb  - welcome to episode 48.

1. I don’t know about you, but it all seems pretty straightforward to me: do not sit on a black marble bench exposed to the Texas sunshine in mid-summer. I am from the Great White North, and I still had that one figured out. But apparently it isn’t that obvious, as a Cleburne woman is suing the Dallas Cowboys and its owner for causing mental anguish, physical pain and disfigurement after she did just that.

The lawsuit notes that

“No signs were posted at or near the bench warning it was too hot for persons to sit”

So you are telling me that she didn’t detect that her buttocks were getting a little warm long before the third degree burns? Please. Let’s file this under “frivolous lawsuits that game the system”, with a sub-category of “simply ridiculous”.

2. Neal Armstrong – the first man to set foot on the surface of the moon – died on August 25. I, for one, have always been intrigued and fascinated by NASA and the space program. The accomplishments of the scientists, test pilots, and astronauts are truly remarkable and awe-inspiring. The video of Armstrong’s first steps on the moon is truly epic and a landmark not only for science and technology but for human thought. Simply envisioning the goal – and making it a reality – is at times hard to comprehend. Looking at the moon now takes on a whole new meaning. Godspeed, Neal Armstrong.

3. Finally, from New York City, a gunfight in front of the Empire State building. I am bewildered by the news that it took 16 rounds to kill Jeffrey Johnson, the man who had just killed his former boss, outside the Empire State Building. My question is this: at close range, how many shots does it really take?

Apparently, according to a 2008 report, NYPD officers hit their intended target 34 percent of the time. Los Angeles officers hit their targets 27 to 29 percent of the time. When the target is shooting at officers, the study reported that the hit rate falls to just 18 percent.

I don’t know about you, but this concerns me as a civilian. That doesn’t seem to be a very high rate of success. What makes this “hit ratio” for police officers more intriguing is this: what happens when you give the average person a firearm and tell them to defend themselves in a similar situation?

Photo credits: Wikipedia